How to deal with them

If you gave your co -worker the words you owed him and you ended up working late because you were tired, or you gave in to your co -worker’s (or child’s) demand that you give up the time or money upon them. you have only planned yourself, you may have been sent on a wrong journey.

What is the nature of the wrong journey? It is encouraged by someone to control your behavior by humiliating you and thinking badly of yourself if you do not do what they tell you to do. It’s only good because we don’t want to embarrass the important people in our lives.

Maintaining Your Commitment

Wrong journeys often occur in relationships (family, friends, some co -workers) where you take care of your relationship and the person’s feelings and how your attitude affects them. That care is what the wrongdoer trains – when they “offend” you, they’re using your conviction to trick you into doing something.

Evil can be a force for good: When you are worried about losing a relationship, take steps to correct when you have hurt or hurt someone. “The real crime is an inner compass,” says Valorie Burton, a well -thought -out counselor and author of related books. Let go of guilt: Stop yourself and restore your happiness. “When we use it wisely, it helps us make choices we won’t regret later.”

But the wrong journey brings that anxiety to you for no reason. The problem arises when we allow “false guilt” to take over our actions in response to thoughts of guilt. As Burton said, “Unlike real crime, false crime means that you have done something wrong even though you have not done something wrong.”

Sin-tripping is a difficult way to communicate. The offender may have difficulty expressing their rights accurately, or they may feel that the relationship is flawed. Wrongdoing may be a way to express your happiness without having to say it. Instead of “We meet you,” for example, an unscrupulous uncle who doesn’t want to be seen might say, “What? Have you forgotten where we live?”

From Condemnation to Cold Shoulder

There are many forms of condemnation, from condemnation (“Are you missing the family reunion? I can’t believe you don’t keep the traditions!”) to abuse (“If you love me, buy me the new software the other kids are getting.”) to play the killer (“I can’t believe you didn’t take care of my phone!”). It can be talked about by whining, whining, other body language or having a “cold shoulder” – without looking at you.

There are other ways to identify a bad trip, says Burton, if you have the following information:

  • You can’t say no without serious consequences.
  • You are always at fault for going wrong.
  • The other person will question your love and loyalty or compare you to people they think are doing well.

Bad trips can be trivial or irritating, but they can also damage a relationship. As one Canadian study found, they do not persuade people to change their style but persuade people to change their style against their will.

When someone misbehaves with you, you may feel sad about saying no under pressure, or angry because of the consent and deception. You may begin to shield the person and some moments of comfort from an impossible request. That protection can increase stress and anxiety.

Either way, a bad trip can make a bad impression on your relationship. To get back on the server and maintain your connection, you need a smart answer.

5 ways to park cars on a bad trip

Verify it with yourself. Does the idea of ​​accepting what is asked give you a feeling to fall into the pit of your stomach? Shaking your neck? Ask yourself: Am I intelligent? Great idea? Am I right in saying that I cannot do this? Once you answer those questions, you can decide right and wrong if you want to do what is asked.

Call as you see fit. Show the man that you know This is a big problem for them because they are trying to blame you for saying no. Tell them you don’t want to worry about saying no or get angry about saying yes, so stop pressing. Burton thinks of saying, “I don’t want to do things because it’s wrong because it hurts me. I want to do things because I feel guided and I know he what to do.

Go back and start again. Ask them to ask you questions directly, without being judgmental or distracting. As Burton said, “I know there is something specific you want from me, and I ask you to ask without going wrong.”

Tell them you respect your right to say no. This is important for the success of your relationship. Let them know when you say yes, because you really want to, not because you feel compelled to do so.

Avoid a trippy request with love and kindness. As Burton said, prove the value of the accuser to you by showing them that you love, care, and respect them and are important to them. He thought to say: “I think so.” “I don’t want to fight with you, but …” “I’m not happy about letting you down, but …” “I want to fulfill your intention, but I can’t.”

You may find that you need to revisit these issues until the situation changes, says Burton. If so, say something like this: “As we talked before…” “I beg you to stop because bad trips are as damaging to our relationship as the establishment of angry, and I don’t want to feel that way about you. “

By looking at yourself, setting boundaries, and communicating honestly and kindly, you can stop a wrong journey while maintaining your self -esteem and protecting your relationship.

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